I think this could possibly be my first post where it is written without planning and published all on the same day – possibly within 1 hour!
Summer draws to a close in a week’s time and I’m heading back up to Glasgow early tomorrow morning (Friday 18th September). Several times now across the realms of the internet I have read the lamentations of people’s dread for Autumn; the transition not so much a transition, but more a gust of icy wind tumbling straight towards them in the leaf littered air, the feeling much more like a tonne of bricks than the light bump of a conker. Some days the weather is warm still, the sunshine breaking through heavily clouded skies to reveal endless stretches of cyan, a familiar comfort blanket to swaddle us in. Other days the mornings begin damp and continue in that drizzly manner, leading to radiator-heated rooms and the encroaching gloom of dark evenings.
For me I’m currently experiencing both outlooks on Autumn. Seasonally speaking I think Autumn is breathtaking in every way. We can wrap up in our favourite coats and boots without the numbing bite of Winter, enjoy the bejewelled colours of the great outdoors and the seasonal foods to stock our cupboards and fridges with. But with a new season comes a new academic year. Semester One begins again for the fourth (and final) time, that heavy feeling in my stomach of the impending work to come, never getting easier, always pushing me harder. I realise that I will return to living without my family whom I have seen everyday for four months, my home pals will become pixels through the electronic screen, lines of text on a private message.
I’ve always tried to be a positive, optimistic person. I try my best when people I know are feeling down or going through hell, but when it comes to myself I can’t help but view situations at their worst. I feel like any prospect of a future in a decent enough job is bleak and am terrified of failure. I’m hoping this September will be the last time I ever feel this, but chances are it won’t be. This time next year I’ll probably be experiencing similar nerves but in anticipation of a job interview or my First Day At Work.
Having come to this realisation however, that we will always face challenges in both personal and academic/work life, I just simply have to breathe it in, close the final page of the previous chapter, bite the bullet and continue to kick ass. Everybody goes through it, everybody will go through it, all in our own individual ways, it’s just about how we choose to go about it.
As this new season begins, and I face the beginning of the end, or perhaps the end of the beginning, I will go into it with an open heart, a clear mind, and the knowledge that I’ll make it out alive – if a little scathed, with new prospects in line and my pixelated friends and family there with me every step of the way..
TTFN, P x