Life Begins Again

Almost one year later and I’m back!

I’m writing this in that fuzzy Saturday morning cocoon; completely resembling Homer Simpson being a toasty cinnamon bun, and not feeling an ounce guilt for it. Until I get overheated or need a wee that is, and then the moment’s broken..


So university happened. I finally graduated in June 2016 and spent a gorgeous few days in the Highlands afterwards. I consumed my body weight in whisky-cream porridge and homemade cakes, and it was a lovely last hurrah to my Scottish life.

I also found a job at the end of May in customer service, something I’m still working in, but isn’t quiiite the Job For Life we imagine in our younger years. It did however, introduce me to some really great people. My kinda people, and also not my kinda people, but it’s all a learning curve and I’ve made some brilliant memories.

I made a best friend. You know in your twenties, when you’ve done the school thing, the college, the university, and you’re blindly thinking you’ve met everyone under the sun and that this is it now? But something, or someone happens. You realise you’re in fact wrong; you Do carry on living, you Are continuously meeting new people, and you’ll Never stop growing as a person. Meeting someone I now refer to as my soul-sister and part-time wife has been the biggest blessing. We discuss the current political (crises?!), the newest memes, the latest boys and our religious views all in the same lunch hour.

She’s a good egg and has helped open my eyes to the fact that life doesn’t stop after university, and actually I think it’s once that hedonistic blur is over and done with, you can then truly begin to establish who you are and what you want from life. I don’t think that journey of self-discovery ever really ends though..

So I’m back and I’m bad as they say (bad at er, keeping regular on the ole blog), but better late than never.

I’m excited to get this up and running again, so watch this space…..






Happy New Year! I hope you indulged yourselves over the festive period, and that your days were as glittery as a Christmas bauble.

This is probably the first year of my life where the rest of it truly begins. The ominous black hole of uncertainty is lurking just around the corner, beginning promptly from June onwards once I have graduated.
2016 is the year four years of study comes to a close with an M.A. in English Language from the University of Glasgow, and I somehow need to decide what I’m going to do with my life post-university. And pronto – at least in the eyes of convention.
I won’t be prolix about it, I am quite terrified as I’m the worst decision maker ever when it comes to even the littlest things – coffee or tea? Teaa? Or coffeee? – but deciding what I want to do as a career, picking out which paths to take amongst an intertwined maze feels like an impossible and ever-so-slightly overwhelming task.
I have friends who have known from the get-go that they want to be lawyers and veterinarians, and are currently on their meticulously planned journeys to getting there. But me? Well let’s see.. Do I want to focus on job-hunting up in Glasgow, or keep tabs more on my home town and surrounding areas? Do I want to focus on looking at jobs in the vague marketing-creative-media field, despite having no real experience in it whatsoever, or just go for what becomes available that I would feel competent enough at, but that would still provide a challenge?
What factors help to carve my decisions anyway? Glasgow has far more job opportunities in terms of personal growth than back home, but do I really want to continue living there when I’ve never felt 100% settled? The only factors of course should be personal ones that come from what I want and what’s best for me in climbing the first rung of the career ladder, but I know living away from loved ones back home will be hard, as Glasgow would then become my permanent dwelling.
I’ve said similar in previous posts, but I don’t think it’s always a bad thing that we mightn’t have a concrete plan about how we should be spending our lives. That’s the beauty and slight terror of being part of Generation Y: where our parents and grandparents were expected to begin thinking and building upon a solid career early on, we’re lucky enough to divert without so much as a raised eyebrow from the standards and expectations that were once so firmly rooted in tradition. University isn’t the first choice for so many people, and those who have opted-out have still been able to be incredibly successful by other means. I am noticing more and more people my age taking a year or even more out after university to properly explore the world, and document it whilst doing so. It appears “convention” is slowly dissipating into something more like, “find what you enjoy doing, and make a living out of it.”
2016 is the end of the beginning, and in a way the beginning of the end. The end of being a student and the bank balance of loans and grants. The beginning of a possible 9-5 and a proper pay cheque. The end of a luxurious life of months’ worth of holidays and the beginning of taxes, bills and maybe even mortgages. 
“The End” has negative and morbid connotations however, but it shouldn’t. It means the rest of our lives, where as the years pass by and the candles on the cake increase in number, we’ll continue to have more freedom, responsibilities and experiences, and surely that can only ever be a good thing..


What Does It Mean To Be "Successful" Anyway?

What is your motivation and what kind of goal is it driving you towards?

n. desire to do; interest or drive | the process that arouses, sustains and regulates human and animal behaviour
I’ve seen the phrase “where do you find your motivation?” thrown around a few places these past few weeks. The response has always been “from within yourself.” You can be inspired by others, even jealous, but when it comes to getting something done, whether it’s hoovering the whole house, or sealing the deal on that promotion you dreamed about ever since walking into the office, the real driving force has always been yourself, coming from within.
So we’ve established motivation, the forces that get you to your personal definition of “success.” But what actually is success? And what does it mean to be “successful”? Is it defined in monetary terms and the small script accompanying your name when you sign your business relations off? The majority of people would probably define it as acquiring the job they’ve always aspired to have. Settling down with a happy, financially secured family. Making your parents proud.

But what if your definition of success doesn’t quite sit with the rest of society’s? What if you’re working really hard but you have absolutely no idea what for. What if you don’t even have the motivation to find and work towards a fantastic career, but instead would prefer a much simpler life; a roof over your head, a full tummy at the end of the day, and happiness. I’ve always worked hard throughout my education, and my grades showed for it. Looking back I’m not sure whether it was out of motivation to do well in order to continue on to the next phase of education, or if it was out of pride. Pride’s a painful thing when it’s dented. At the moment I have no dream career in the clouds for me to work towards once I graduate. And the worst thing of all, I’m not actually bothered. Well, of course I’m bothered and worried that I’ll leave university and end up not being able to find a job, (any job, I’d be willing to take anything), but at the moment I feel like I’m working hard at uni, doing my best, but have no idea what for.

We return to pride. At the moment the only motivation I have is the shame of graduating with a 3 or a 2:2. I know, it’s awful of me. And a 2:2 isn’t even bad, it’s certainly not the worst thing in the world to have scrawled in a This Is Your Life book. When I was younger, I had a million and one different ideas for job roles, as we all did I’m sure. A sweet shop owner, a florist, an interior designer, a journalist, all with absolutely no concept of the investment of hard work needed in advance, that would be necessary in order to see the ideas become a reality. Now I know the reality, and it’s terrifying. Truly a dog eat dog world. (Well, perhaps being a sweet-shop owner isn’t quite on par with the struggles of journalism..)
Thankfully I still have one year left to properly ponder upon what I want to When I Leave. Whilst friends back home are finishing up dissertations and graduating in the summer, I am quietly watching them, observing their moves as they choose the next path to follow in a new chapter of their lives. I’ll see what they do, and if I fancy it, I’ll do something similar. Simple yeah?

For me, to have a life “full of success,” is to know that you made that person’s day. You helped changed someone’s perspective on life for the better. You helped nurture someone younger than you, (not necessarily your offspring!), and comforted somebody who is older. Right now, my idea of a dream job is to have a bee-keeping farm and a community garden, to help nourish those who stopped by. Yes, it is pretty unrealistic, I think the idea might have come to me in a dream, I’m not sure. It’s not the most ambitious way of passing your days, not compared to a lot of people I know who have professional careers set in motion once that cap is donned and scroll is in their hand.
For now, I am motivated to do my personal best. To push myself to limits I’ve never reached, and to simply be content in life.

What is motivating you at the moment? Have you reached a stage in your life where you can comfortably say, “I have successfully accomplished X?” 

I’d love to know if I’m not alone when it comes to university degrees and working hard, but having no real material goal to make it all seem worth while..